With this post, I inaugurate a series of suggestions for reading books on psychological support, self-help or education is addressed to an "non-specialist."
All suggestions bookish gather them in the page " Books," which will gradually updated links to relevant articles, divided into categories.
Happy reading!
Title: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FOR A CHILD. A guide for parents Authors: John Gottman, Joan De Claire
As anticipated title, this book is part of 'emotional intelligence .
But what is it? It 'a matter of intelligence related to the ability to feel emotions, to recognize and live it consciously. What
several studies have shown is that this expertise is often lacking. In the case of the parents also will not have developed emotional intelligence can lead to neglect this aspect in the growth of their children.
writes Gottman, "Surprisingly, most of the advice commonly given to parents are ignoring the world of emotion. They rely instead on educational theories concerned with the fact that children misbehave, but ignore the feelings underlying those behaviors. In any case, the ultimate goal of educating children should not consist merely in getting an individual docile and obedient. Most parents hoping for much more. You want that the children become responsible and righteous people, give their contribution to society, have the strength to make their own choices in life, enjoy the realization of their talents, life and the pleasures it can offer, maintain good relationships with friends , have a successful marriage and, in turn, become good parents . "
writes Gottman, "Surprisingly, most of the advice commonly given to parents are ignoring the world of emotion. They rely instead on educational theories concerned with the fact that children misbehave, but ignore the feelings underlying those behaviors. In any case, the ultimate goal of educating children should not consist merely in getting an individual docile and obedient. Most parents hoping for much more. You want that the children become responsible and righteous people, give their contribution to society, have the strength to make their own choices in life, enjoy the realization of their talents, life and the pleasures it can offer, maintain good relationships with friends , have a successful marriage and, in turn, become good parents . "
Gottman's book is precisely this educational sphere (the emotional) so often neglected, so that American scholars have called" the missing piece " , the missing piece of education.
describes different types of parent, based on the way to handle the emotional relationship with their children:
- the censor : neglect and the emotions disapproves of his son, is not empathetic, but assumes a critical attitude.
- the careless : diminishes or devalues \u200b\u200bthe emotions of the children, considering them "children", try to cancel or deny sadness and anger, trying to make people laugh.
- the lax : accept the child's emotions, whatever they are, but can not offer guidance for dealing with negative emotions.
- 's emotional coach : accept the feelings and emotions of the child and acts as his guide in the emotional world, with limits in respect of unacceptable behavior, teaching them how to adjust feelings and solve problems.
The book detailed 5 steps for training emotional :
- Being aware of the child's emotions in the emotion
- Recognizing an opportunity for intimacy and teaching with
- Listen empathy and validating the child's feelings
- help the child find words to describe the emotions he feels
- set limits while you help your child solve the problem
If you are curious to know your style parental education on the site Laboratory you test!
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